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Father's Right will enable Grandparent's Rights

Friday, January 4, 2019 - AbusesToMen - PRobertson

A bit about me, I am now 63 years old, forced into an early retirement by the sale of the company to a US firm and moved South. When I met my wife, she was only 17, she had to get her mother’s approval when we got married. We had some tough times, but we worked through them and have two great sons, I lost her almost 4 years ago after close to 40 years of marriage. I think the strain of my son’s issues contributed to her not being able to go on. When she started to get really sick, I took all my vacation to stay home with her, when vacation ran out I took a leave of absence. We had decided that no matter what, she would stay home to the end, I was at her side when she passed away at home. Because that is what family means.

I am on this site as a grandparent supporting my son's fight to see his kids. Everyone saw what his wife was like before they even married, but love is blind. Her first step was to isolate him from his friends and family, if they weren’t her family, he could have nothing to do with them, his friends were not welcome in her home.

Before you say it is his own fault that she let her control him like that, he was in love with her from back in high school. The live in boyfriends came and went, the first husband came and went, but my son was always there for her.

She blocked all family, including my wife and I. Before our first grandchild was even born she told my wife that we would never see him. That day was the last I saw my son for several years. When we finally reconnected we found out that although she said it was agreed upon between her and my son, he knew nothing about it and couldn’t figure out why we never called or came over again.

He had heard all the stories about her first husband, he was abusive, he was controlling, he isolated her, the live in boyfriend, he was abusive, he was controlling, he isolated her, her brother, he was abusive, he was controlling, her father, he was abusive, he was controlling, get the idea?

Boyfriend, couldn’t get anything out of him, they had nothing. The first husband, didn’t last long, no savings, no real estate, no pension to claim , this time she was going to get something out of the deal. They had the house, there was money in the bank, when he lost his job, along with 5000 others, she figured he was finished, this is when she really tried to drive him out. She had been on a campaign to drive him out of the house for a period of time, he stuck it out figuring that they could work through it. But unknown to him, she had been planning this for some time.

As she had a background in accounting, she took care of all the family expenses. But taking care of expenses meant something else to her. In the end, my son found out that she had paid off her student loan and her credit cards by transferring the bills to his credit card, never made payments on his card, and never paid his student loan. She was running a daycare center out of the home but all the money from that went into a separate account.

So bring in the mother, both verbally attacking him trying to provoke a fight with the mother as a witness. He wouldn’t respond, instead he called the police to have the mother removed, first time ever, they told him to suck it up, but the next day when she called, they were right there, went looking for him while she got the restraining order because he gave her a dirty look.

Why would he give her a dirty look? To avoid her mother and any conflict he has spent the night sleeping in the garage, just like many nights before. Couldn’t sleep in the bed, he had sleep apnea and the CPAP machine bothered her. When he was on nights, the bed was needed to put kids for a nap from her daycare. Couldn’t sleep on the couch or basement, she needed the space for her daycare business.

So with a restraining order issues with no reasons, he was forced from the home, bank account was empty, even though a large severance package had just been deposited, credit card maxed out, just a few dollars in cash, he moved into a friends basement. And then he got the notice to appear in family court. Short notice, no lawyer, no money to retain one, duty council only, and a temporary order preventing him from attending the home or seeing his kids to go along with a falsely obtained restraining order.

This was when my son turned to crime. With only a few dollars in his pocket, no UI because of a severance package, no welfare as he owned a home (even though he had no access to it), no legal aid either as he owned a home, he had no choice than to resort to a life of crime.

His crime, he took the last few dollars that he had and sent flowers to his wife trying to start a conversation and work to fix things. A violation of the restraining order, and for this he was arrested and thrown in jail.

Based in information from the wife, they knew where to find him, and based on what the wife had to say to the crown attorney, the crown was going for the death penalty. I am serious, the crow attorney was so vicious in attacking my son, duty council was able to have her removed and replaced by a different crown attorney. But either way, duty council advised my son to pled guilty and get it over with. So he did, and ended up being jailed for a short time. For sending flowers.

Now back to Family Court, he was no longer a father, he was a hardened criminal and was blocked from seeing his kids. If he wanted to see his kids, he had to attend, participate, and pass several different courses to train him to be a better person. He followed all the requirements, attended everything, and then back to court, he was told that he could see his kids, supervised. An hour and a half, every other week through an organization called CAPP, Child and Parent Place. No one else could see the kids, this was all inside a hall, couldn’t go outside, and he could not give them anything to take home. Pictures could be taken, but no digital, they had to be film, and staff had to take the pictures to ensure no one else was in the background.

But at least he could see them, right? No, because she would have to complete the paperwork and bring them to the place, something she put off for several months. And once completed, most of the time she would call at the last minute cancelling for one reason or another. When they did show up, my grandson would be violent towards his father, when asked why, he told the supervisors that his mother said it was ok to hurt his father. These comments were documented and provided in the reports from CAPP.

Eventually an order was issued giving my son access to the kids outside of CAPP, but supervised by her aunt. The order was explained very clearly to the mother by the judge who asked directly “Do you understand”. This was the first my son was able to see his kids outside of CAPP, and the first time my wife and I were able to see our grandkids.

Two weeks later my son was able to take the children to visit with other friends, I would have preferred that they came to my place so we could see them again, but at we would see them again soon, we let that go. But that was a mistake, two weeks later, the aunt couldn’t make it, and two weeks after that the mother decided that this was not to be an ongoing thing and refused to let my son see the kids.

Lots of excuses, lots of lies, but she wouldn’t let him see the kids, so back to court with a contempt charge. She changed lawyers by this time claiming that the first lawyer hadn’t explained the order to her, the first lawyer wasn't following her wishes, the first lawyer was giving her bad advice. Truth was the new lawyer encouraged her to violate the order, this is part of his methods.

The judge outlined all the requirements for a contempt charge:

  • There has to be a valid court order, there was, the same judge issued it
  • The person charged with contempt has to be aware of the order, the same judge explained it very clearly to her
  • The person has to violate the order, she denied the father access to his children
  • They have to be informed that they are in violation and be giving the chance to correct their actions, her lawyer was informed due to no contact orders
  • They have to continue to violate the court orders, and she did

The judge ruled that all requirements had been met for a finding of contempt, however the judge felt that a contempt finding would do little to advance the case in the Family Court system, so she declined to issue a finding of contempt. A last comment by the judge was that she didn't believe that a contempt finding would encourage the X to correct her actions.

Kind of like saying to a serial killer that I don't think finding you guilty of murder will change your attitude about killing people, so I'm just going to set you free.

With no finding of contempt, the X was then free to do whatever she wanted knowing full well that the courts would do nothing. During the contempt trial the X started to make more false accusations against my son, she was even warned by the judge to be very careful about what she was saying as the judge was starting to doubt everything she had presented to the courts.

The X agreed to follow the orders at that point as her lawyer had already prepared the papers to stay those proceedings and change from the Family Court to the Ontario Superior Court as the judges in the Family Court were starting to catch on to her lies.

So all legal fees, all costs, everything was wasted and she started all over again. One thing that wasn't stayed, the support payments, that part of the order continued on.

On to the Ontario Superior Courts where they didn’t know about all her lies and false accusations with a lawyer that specializes in dragging cases out until the kids have completely forgotten their father and then a request for an order preventing the father from having any contact as “He abandoned  the kids years ago, he has never bothered with the kids, he had no interest in their schooling or health” while all the time blocking the father from all these things.

More on the Ontario Superior Court later, it gets even worse.

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Fathers Right will enable Grandparents Rights

Information | PRobertson Voice Page created 1/7/2019 7:29:09 AM Audience: Public

Father's Right will enable Grandparent's Rights

Civil | Brad Mack Voice Page created 1/6/2019 9:31:40 AM Audience: Public


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re Father's Right will enable Grandparent's Rights

Information | Rejean A. Boudreau Voice Page created 1/6/2019 9:29:00 AM Audience: Public

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