I have created this page to get these boys back and make everyone aware of the "Alienating" parent and abuse!
I knew what abuse was long before I actually knew or heard the word abuse. I grew up in an abusive household. My father abused my mother, siblings and me.
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I have created this page to get these boys back and make everyone aware of the "Alienating" parent and abuse!
I knew what abuse was long before I actually knew or heard the word abuse. I grew up in an abusive household. My father abused my mother, siblings and me.
At the age of nineteen, I believed that my childhood nightmare was a distant memory, never to be repeated again. I married a man I had known for five months and moved 3,000 miles away from my one-stoplight small town. I wanted a different family life than what I had growing up. I wanted a happy, healthy marriage and future family. I started off believing Aaron would be different than my dad. He wouldn’t hit me. He had yelled at me and made me feel horrible about myself, but he wouldn’t hit me. I didn’t realize it at the time, but the justifications and excuses had begun at the very beginning of our courtship. Three months after we wed, he physically assaulted me and my belief changed to prayers and deal-making with God; if only Aaron would stop yelling, hitting, screaming, insulting, punching, threatening, abusing, I would do anything, be a better wife, cook, mother, just please, help me and make him stop.
I endured a seventeen-year marriage where I was physically, emotionally, verbally, financially and mentally abused. My three children witnessed the abuse and my two oldest also endured their father’s wrath of physical and verbal abuse. My husband controlled all aspects of my life: where I went; who my friends were; what I did. Aaron felt threatened by anything and anyone that took me away from him and our family. At one point, he destroyed my cell phone and then convinced me I had lost it. I discovered the real truth years later when my teenage daughter confessed that her father had her take my phone and put it in the glove box of her father’s truck.
My husband controlled the finances. He wanted a "homemaker". When I occasionally worked my husband would inundate me with phone calls and visits to my workplace. He didn’t want me to work outside the home, and yet, he would disparage me for not doing so, calling me lazy.
I had an allowance. If I wanted something, I had to ask permission and then work towards it by saving money and being a "good" wife. My husband worked on raising me to be a good person, a good mother and most importantly a good wife (loyal, obedient, respectful, dutiful and never ever questioning of his authority).
The breaking point came when Aaron assaulted me when I was pregnant with our third child. Hitting me across my face so hard I fell back onto our bed.
In 2010, I thought my and my children’s nightmare was over. I had finally mustered the courage, to leave my husband and seek a divorce. I thought I was ending the cycle of abuse. I shared custody with my husband but I was granted physical custody.
In June 2012, I sent my two youngest children for a court ordered six-week visit to see their father. My daughter didn’t go because she feared that her father wouldn’t send her home and in fact, was worried that her father was going to keep her brothers and not send them back.
Her fears weren’t in vain.
My boys never came back to me.
It has now been over a year and a half since I have seen my sons. My ex husband has mentally manipulated my boys into believing I am a monster; I am the abusive one. I have been evaluated by my GP and by two sets of CPS personnel and the accusations my ex has wielded have been found to be unfounded and it was determined I am a competent mother and caregiver. My ex husband has also brainwashed both boys to forget the abusive behavior they lived through with him. It was easily done with my youngest because he was only five years old and my middle son was twelve and at the age of wanting to identify with his father. My middle son has now switched from trying to be the protector of me when his father was raging at me to now emulating his father in his behavior. I am so worried and scared that my sons will follow in their father’s footsteps and become abusers.
I miss and love my boys terribly. I am desperate for help. WE are desperate for help. Lindsey misses her brothers and often cries to see them again and touch them one more time.
I also want to educate others and make them aware that the abuse doesn’t always end, even after you have left the relationship. My boys have become the victims now and my ex husband is still trying to control and dominate me through my innocent children.
There must be someone somewhere who can help us!!
Please help my family!
Category:
Accused