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Searching for my children

Fathers in distress if you ever need to talk, or just vent, please message us Contact: Fathers Rights Canada
Deadly Epidemic Against Dads


To my children & To those that may be concerned ...
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Phone call between Alienating mother and child complete paradox call
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The Alienating mother has spent the life of our child smothering her, and since 13 mont...
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Take it to the next level and the judge will overturn it. I’ve had the judge in my case gr...
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There is not a day that doesn't go by that I don't think about my daughter

Wednesday, August 14, 2013 - Fathers - The Fathers Rights Movement

I had to make a decision 16 years ago, that cost me everything. I fired my lawyer and walked away.
...I had to make a decision whether spending the money and time fighting my ex (in reality the court system) was worth it to myself, my daughter AND my ex-wife. There was also an egregious case of Parental Alienation Syndrome occurring. Though I had wished my ex to be reasonable during the divorce proceedings, I had an epiphany one day. I realized she had been unreasonable during the duration of our marriage, and that it was I who was being unreasonable expecting her to be otherwise. My wife (and I am sure with the coaching of her lawyer) used false allegations against me to gain the upper hand. It would prove to be a case of me having to prove my innocence instead of having that innocence assumed. The clincher came when my lawyer, the third one, gave me sound advice even though it would cause her firm a loss of revenue: I could fight and fight and perhaps get what I thought was right, but since my ex had already proven she would use false allegations against me once, it was likely she would use them again. It would have been an endless and expensive battle. There is not a day that doesn't go by that I don't think about my daughter. She is now twenty. I have written to her every birthday and Christmas for the last 16 years, and have not heard from her in all that time. I do not blame my ex or her family anymore although I did very much at the beginning. I did come to the conclusion that the problem is not with wives or husbands or children, the problem is with the system that empowers and enables this violence against families to continue.

Source & Comments:
You are correct with where the problem lies. I hope your daughter gets in touch with you and allows a relationship with you.

Definitely agree - the system is worse than the fighting between the parents. I pray your daughter reaches out to you one day. 

I dream of that day should it ever come Hector. Thanks.

I have been saying the exact same thing! My grievance is with the gutless cowards who are in a position to help, but choose not to. 

 I unfortunately had to make the same difficult decision for the same reasons.. i live in hope that i dont have to wait as long to hear from my son.. but am also resigned to the fact that 'the call' or msg may never come & even if it does it may not turn out the way that i am longing for... the system is broken & is just ripe for manipulation by anyone selfish enough to wanna do that.

Hello I can say the system has not changed yet .Mr Morgan I have talked to some professors and change has to go to a level of new laws that see men as a father and not a dead beat or a child as a means to make money. We need contacts in our colleges to make a difference. I wonder what Martin Luther king would do if he was to see how biased the laws r toward fathers. He would organize and go to court on a federal level.

I've been through the exact same situation, but me kids do talk from me on rare occasions, when they want something ( the result of living with a self-centered, manipulator). You are exactly right. It is the system that is the problem. The system is perfectly aware of these problems, but will never correct them. They have become addicted to the payouts from our federal government that come from destroying families, and letting the attorneys work in a system where they can repeatedly victimize their clients. Only when all these groups join forces and demand the system be changed on a federal level, will this travesty stop. 

I worked in Corrections years ago, and still remember a key lesson that the boss summed up beautifully... "The best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour. "

This story I know.

You have no idea HOW RIGHT YOU ARE

So sad. Mine is similar however they saw through her lies but because didnt think she would hurt kids ( apparently false allegations and increasing acrimony doesn't count) now it's been nearly 5 years and the accusations of abuse have continued. I keep defending myself. Now the bf gets involved and goes with her to file police reports. The madness doesn't end. !

Workman I'm facing the same thing. I want to change the system too

Charles Rand I won't give up regardless!!!

Thanks for sharing. It's a tough decision, but I also came to the same conclusion a year ago. My situation isn't as bad, though. Sadly, one way to change the system may be to stop playing the game. Too many of us are shamed into spending tens of thousands of $ to be involved like society tells us to be, and we're shut out anyway. Legal professionals fuel the contention, reap the rewards, and walk away the only 'winners'. Stop giving them money and let's see what happens.

Sympathy? Empathy? Yes. I give u. But I couldn't disagree more. We must always fight back... you made a mistake. You should've fought till the end.

Till the end of what Ashish? The end of my life? What mistake did I make pray tell? You're very idealistic aren't you? We do what we can. I did what I could and I did what I was able. I have no regrets. Hindsight is always 20/20. Perhaps it my Karma, eh? OK. One day they will throw dirt in my face and the debt will be repaid. Until then, I will not focus on the past although my heart remembers. I will network with others with the same experience and and if the numbers get large enough we will bring change. Change not for myself but change for the future.

The whole thing is nothing more than child exploitation. People complain about the "Big Banks" sorry but they don't exploit kids for money. The really villans in this country is "Big Legal."

my son is having the same problem right now. an adoption agency lawyer is spewing whatever lies she can....and even said she would think of many more.....to have my sons rights to his daughter terminated so they can place my granddaughter with a family THEY chose. his ex gf signed her rights away, and they are punishing my son because he refuses to do so. we go to court again on thursday. my granddaughter is 5 months old and we are not even allowed visitation. we still only have one picture of her at about 2-3 weeks old. I pray your daughter finds peace within her heart to contact you. my father left my mother when she was pregnant for me, and they were divorced shortly thereafyer. he has never attempted contact. I am now 47, and though I tell myself I no longer care, it hurts to know that he has never even tried to "find" me. I live in the same city i was born in and it would not be hard

You are not alone there are a lot of us my friend.

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Because of you she is hurting

Because of you she is hurting

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