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Father Rights Canada / Copy of letter sent to Ms Parks

Thursday, July 11, 2019 - Fathers - Not disclosed - Fathers Rights Canada

Copy of letter sent to Mr Parks, gov of ON Please post anonymously if you feel it may be helpful

Honourable Ms. Park;

I understand you are accepting written submissions regarding your proposed improvements to family laws, legislation, processes and regulation. I will provide a quick synapsis of my experience and at the end, my recommendations.

1. My son was born on March 10, 2012 from a girlfriend who assured me she was on birth control and as soon as she found out she was pregnant she moved back in with her parents while I was at work, with no notice or warning. At the time I was surprised at the pregnancy yet I was also planning for the big day and was also in the process of legitimising our relationship by purchasing an engagement ring.

2. At the time I was employed by the Correctional Service of Canada as a Correctional Officer (peace officer under the Criminal Code of Canada). Previously I was a decorated soldier in the Canadian Forces who was honourably released due to the offer of employment at CSC.

3. I have a spotless criminal record, no history of criminal activity, never been accused of violence towards anyone or any partner. (Violence includes but is not limited to physical, verbal, emotional, financial, ect.) I have not been a drinker since 1999 and have never done illegal drugs.

4. When our son was born I was there for the birth and also there for the birthing classes and the training by the midwives.

5. As soon as my son was born I was not allowed any visitation due to various reason that ran from "too busy", Son is sick", "I have other plans", etc. I was also denied access due to me being a smoker and the "residue" from the smoke "would be on my clothes and skin". To be clear I never have and would never smoke around a non smoker especially a child!

6. Mediation provided no relief or access as mediation was non binding.


My Ex-girlfriend demanded in her motion full custody, no visitation, child support, $30,000 and 5 years spousal support.

My Motion desired visitation every 2nd weekend with longer visits in the summer and Christmas. I agreed with child support and disagreed with the cash payout and Spousal Support.

1. Our first court date happened about 3 months after the birth of our son. The judge ordered a genetic parentage test. The judge also seized himself in the matter and thus no other judge could hear the case regardless of circumstance or his unavailability.

2. During our next few court dates the mother of our son claimed that I was verbally abusive towards her, was hiding my income, was fired from her job due to the pregnancy, and that it was not safe for my son to be with me. The judge ordered supervised visitation once a week at a recognised visitation centre and that I undergo a psychiatric evaluation and adjourned the case until the report was ready and I had undergone the supervised access for 10 weeks.

3. Our son is near 1 years old before we are back in court. Both reports are complete with no issues noted by the supervising centre or the psychologist. The judge has also had complete access to my banking information, my employment records, and my tax returns as they had been included in my original motion. My sons mother claims I am dangerous still so the judge orders supervised visits at my home with my sons mother present as well as another adult. Court adjourned for many more months.

4. After approx. 1 month of seeing my son as per the court order our sons mother again refuses to let me see my son.

5. Many months pass due to the judge not being available and no other judge allowed to hear the case.

6. Around 18 months into the procedure the judge again hears from our sons mother how dangerous I am. She claims to need the spousal support due to her enrolling in University to get her BA. She also includes cell phone camera pictures taken without my knowledge at my home during one of my sons visits that shows an unopened bottle of whiskey that was a gift and some firearms related magazines (books). My lawyer objects however the judge becomes personally involved and just about calls me the worst person he has ever seen, ignores any of my visitation issues and orders me to pay 2 years spousal support and ADDS extra money to the legal amount of child support without my sons mother even asking for it.. He then adjourns court.

7. Receive notice from the court that final court day is 2 weeks away due to a 2 year time limit and that both parties are to provide factums and to be ready. After the particular day in court noted the case will be going to trial.

8. My lawyer and I provide a roughly 100 page factum that notes every missed visitation date via the temporary court order, the factum provides notarised statements from 2 psychologists, my family doctor, my ex wife (with whom I have a daughter and do enjoy visitation every 2 weeks) and from her (sons mother) former employer stating that she quit her job voluntarily. There is also a motion asking the court to hold our sons mother in contempt of the court order. The mother of my son provides a factum which is a photocopy of her original motion.

9. The court was provided the whole package from my lawyer on the day of the proceedings yet for some reason he (my lawyer) missed including the motion to provide the documents. The court refuses to accept the documents entirely and we are ushered in to see a different judge who immediately throws my case out. Under Ontario Law the court CANNOT dismiss a family related court case due to a mistake by my lawyer. The new judge ignores my lawyer and throws out the case anyway. When I ask why I am not getting any visitation at all the new judge refers us to another judge later that afternoon.

10. The new judge hears my plea to see my son and asks the mother of my son why I am being denied and her lawyer states that there is a comma in the temporary order which she interprets as being able to deny me access. The new judge looks at the temporary order, the comma in question and immediately orders the court order valid and that it is to be followed forthwith. He also states that our sons mother is very lucky that he does not have a contempt motion in front of him from me as he would find our sons mother in contempt. Of course all my motions have been thrown out of court at this time. I have a notarised transcript of this proceeding.

11. I am told by my lawyer after this day that my only recourse is to appeal however I will have to pay all the costs up front. (I am quoted $20,000) plus my lawyer will need a $10,000 retainer to do this.

12. At this point, after 2 years, I am SICK of the COURT, the 2 Judges who were involved in this grievous case of INJUSTICE and inform my lawyer to go away.


1. About a week later I get a call from my sons mothers lawyer to come sign the settlement agreement. I go and sign the agreement. I pay $18,000 cash (paid over a year) and provide 12 monthly child support cheques. I agree to provide yearly tax returns and 12 post dated cheques every year. The separation agreement, signed by all parties provides me with visitation every second weekend, transportation provided by his mother..

I had to borrow approx. $35,000 from family during this ordeal. (since paid back)

Present Day

1. Our son is now 7 1/2 years old and I have only been allowed 1 overnight visit EVER and no more then 3 visits a year. When I am not ignored by my sons mother asking for visitation I am given excuses as to why I can't see our son. The latest reason now is that I haven't seen my son in so long that he doesn't want to see me. Parental Alienation!

2. The police will NOT get involved.

3. FRO has NO mandate to enforce visitation.

4. Am I afraid to go back to court? YES!!!!

5. I have kept ALL new correspondence and my original paperwork in a safety deposit box

6. I have a new lawyer who offers me paid advice. I am still afraid to go back to court.

7. Due to ours sons absences from school I have contacted CAS. NO REPLY

8. My sons mother never went to University but she did do a semester at college for cutting hair and got a new car.


In Grade 1 our son missed 67.5 days of school and got a "NEEDS IMPROVEMENT in every class or an INSUFFICIENT ability to grade his progress yet he was placed in Grade 2.

In Grade 2 our son missed 42 days of school and got a "NEEDS IMPROVEMENT in every class and received an average grade of D yet he has been placed in Grade 3.



1. Judges need to be placed in thier positions based upon job related knowledge and experience. NOT like my judge who was a political appointee and who was a criminal lawyer for the RCMP.

2. There needs to be oversight and accountability for judges in the Family Court System.

3. There needs to be an enforceable legal entity within Ontario like a Police Board who can hear people cases and make enforceable recommendations such a retrials, relief, and/or ordered training for judges.

4. Lawyers need to be held accountable for thier clients false statements if no due diligence is done by them before they make a claim in court.

5. Judges need to be trained about parental alienation and to recognise when a parent is not following a visitation court order. They must also be trained/directed to immediately take action up to including the police, to enforce visitation.

6. I would like to see FRO mandated to also make sure visitation is followed and to have the authority to find a parent doing it in contempt of the court order and to be able to independently take the contempt motion in front of a judge.

7. Judges need training and the encouragement to enforce the laws of the land regarding contempt of court orders re visitation.


Every 2 weeks, when I am denied visitation, I am physically and mentally ill for days. The frustration levels are beyond description. Fortunately for everyone concerned I am a law abiding and respectful man. How many more stories will you need to see on the news before a BIG problem is recognised and something is done about it. If I miss 1 payment, I go to FRO and they can eventually take my licence, clean out my bank accounts, and throw me in jail. When a spouse is in contempt of a court order for visitation...Well I have NEVER heard of such a thing! Certainly the consequences must be nil.

I am a grandfather now and see them much, much more then my own son and my wife is due in August. Clearly I am good father but I was a very poor judge of my sons mother.


Contact Location: Ontario Canada

- Fathers Rights Canada
last update
Thursday, July 11, 2019
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