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Searching for my children

Fathers in distress if you ever need to talk, or just vent, please message us Contact: Fathers Rights Canada
Deadly Epidemic Against Dads


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Story from An Alienated Mother Tomorrow is my birthday I'm searching for justice

Friday, January 8, 2016 - AbusesToMothers - Ashley Phillips - Death of the Justice System Open Forum Fraud

My mom signed my name to my summons and helped my ex hide court! This is my story of being a rejected targeted parent. I was completely blindsided by my now ex husband.

He and I arranged a temporary living arrangement for me to move to south Florida and accept a job. December 31st 2014. A date I will never forget, EVER. I remember driving my son to him that night I worried that he might take him for good. I just pushed those thoughts of "irrational fears" right out of my head. My son was excited and that made me happy even though I was breaking. I kept telling myself that it would all be over this time next year and we would look back at it like it was nothing.

I said my good byes and cried for the next three days but I knew it was for the best. Florida was my dream. It has so much more opportunity and my son LOVES the beach. I had set a schedule for me to call every night at 8 and at first he would accept my call every night. Then it would be two nights, then three, they were just busy... It would be okay I would see him soon. That hope gave me the strength to carry on. Visitation planning came along and my son expressed he was scared to fly alone.

I offered to pay for my ex or his girlfriend to fly with him one way. The tickets were 99$ through southwest. I also advised him a stewardess would be assigned and that it would be a straight flight.

They gave me one excuse after the other and finally they said, Caleb has expressed he doesn't want to see you. I will not make him do anything he doesn't want to do. I was shaken, shocked and stunned. He wasn't mad the last time I talked to him??? No amount of bargaining and begging would falter their decision and conveniently he didn't want to speak to me either, so I just kept trying to call and when they did answer it was short answers, his voice was different, he sounded numb as if he was drugged. I would try to encourage him to come visit and expressed how badly I missed him. Then all contact was shut off. No warning, no explanation just gone.... As if he had vanished. The address I was given turned out to be fake, the school name fake and I didn't know what to do. I am his mommy...

My ex finally answered me on July 20th 2015 to ask an address where I could be served and I provided it and asked to talk to Caleb. Nothing... I never received papers. I checked the newspaper legals nothing. Then he contacted me at the beginning of August when my son had shattered his pelvis and had been air lifted to the hospital and was home resting!!! I didnt even get to see him then, I imagine how scared he must of felt and I wasn't there! How does a person do that. I had moved home to try to fix this visitation thing I was right down the road from my mother who of course was notified and immediately went there to be by his side. She passed my house to get there. She didn't even let me know anything.

Finally, in October, 3 months after he was supposed to have moved home, they let me see him. For a weekend, in their town, in a hotel, where the cost was so expensive we couldn't afford to do anything fun Just sit in the hotel and watch movies. On Saturday night, the first 36 hours I had seen our child the whole year, after I had held my ex's new baby (a boy that looked just like caleb) and put him to sleep I said something snide to my ex and he instantly became livid. I knew the look in his eye so I walked off went to the hotel and he knocked at the door and when I opened threw an envelope at me and walked away. I opened it and found it to be a final decree of divorce. My breath was taken out of my lungs, my world began spinning but Caleb was right there so I had to find a way to keep it all together. I hadn't even been told of a court date. How does this even happen? I frantically flip to 'our' custody agreement.

He received full conservatorship with me receiving mutually agreed upon visitiations. Mutally agreed?! We couldn't even agree on what kind of coffee we should buy! At the discretion of the father to be supervised by the father. Are you kidding me?! This person who has done so much damage to me emotionally for ten years, whom I left out of fear that he would hurt me, seriously bad one day ,if I didn't, now gets to be alone with me and my son and determines when how and how long?! Oh did I forget that he is over the road trucker who is almost never home...

So he has it worded to appear acceptable to any overseeing judge as fair for a mother who doesnt care enough to even show up?! My earth shattered. I cherished every smile and hug I had from that kid I let him stay up super super late and I remembered every little thing about him ... Something just told me I wouldn't see him for a while after that. I wish I had stayed just five more minutes, gotten one more hug and kiss. My ex promised that I would see him again next month and I could have him for his Christmas break.

He told me he served me via publication and his atty had told him not to tell me about court. I called the next day, I was served by certified mail at my mother's address where the card was signed in my mothers handwriting my name! Did I mention she was with me when I got the papers and didn't say a word. When I dropped him off I felt lost, confused, numb and disoriented.

I called my laywer thinking the court system would love to hear this injustice. Wrong again! Without 15k just to start to begin to fight it, even though it took place illegally and it should have been him having to repay to have it amended fixed or allow me to face my acccusor the burden was left to me. The ex wife who quit school right before finishing so that the man who just took everything from me could take his dream job of world series of poker dealer, the ex wife who has spent the previous year and a half being the only one working and supporting us, the ex wife who had paid over 4 thousand dollars to get his drivers license reinstated, the ex wife who quit building a training program to fulfill my dream as a trainer for collectors selling an independent program that agencies used to allow him to get his cdl for his new dream job, the ex wife that was left with nothing but a huge amount of his tax debt and my last name to come up with an additional huge amount of legal fees.

I was left with no choice because he knew I didn't have access to that kind of cash just to accept that my son was no longer mine in any respect. All with my mothers assistance. Then came the next round of alienation. I was accused of prying my son for information all weekend. That I was on my phone during the visit (I'm in network marketing) for work to be able to afford traveling 2 states away and paying for a hotel for 2 nights and to eat for a whole weekend out. They tortured him for a week solid after that visit. He called me at midnight demanding that I apologize for everything I had ever done to him individually. He called and said I threw him up against a refrigerator, I forced him to play video games while I used drugs all the time. That me arguing with his father all week was why he couldn't do anything with him on the weekend. Even though he told me during that visit that he thought of running away and committing suicide that he wanted to come home.

That his father and new girlfriend fought and there was a gun involved, to which they admitted to but I have no address remind you to report it. So I'm stuck. Its December 29th I havent seen my son since dropping him off 10/4/2015. He didn't come for thanksgiving because "I shouldn't get every holiday" and he's coming at Christmas anyway. However my mother drove right by my house leaving out to go visit him and eat thanksgiving with him.

I wasn't invited and then at Christmas I wasn't allowed to come either I was just allowed to send presents. I didn't even get to talk to him. I got a text that said this is Caleb I love the presents and you. I am forced to accept this is my reality because of money. It doesn't matter that a.) if they indeed are telling the truth about him not wanting to speak to me I am not allowed to cry on the phone when he does call.

That in itself should speak volumes to their fitness of a full time parent .... He should hear the real life consequences of his decision like an adult would if they were to make a decision that would cause hurt to another person - teaching him that there are consequences and that he can't go around doing what he wants when he wants and that he must develop the ability to feel empathy. b.) if they are indeed letting him make life altering decisions at 9 years old without preparing him for any of those decisions that speaks volumes about their parenting style and when he is in the real world he will expect everything to revolve around him which in turn is narcissistic behavior which means he is largely likely to become full blown narcissistic which I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. C.) did I mention he is NINE what place does he have making a decision that affects his life so much?! He is a child that must be shown how to live correctly.

There is nothing I can do about it now. Until I can afford an attorney I must comply. Even after, the way the justice systems are the orders are never enforced so who's to say that will even be more than an expensive piece of paper. What I will do is tell my story I will advocate for laws to be put in place to protect the next person and their children. I will not stop until there is a figuratively vaccine to this blind epidemic that is infecting children and families every where.

I also write my son. They can't interject he doesn't have to experience the anxiety of not making them mad or hurting me with a response and it speaks to his soul hopefully it will keep it pure. That's what I pray anyway. I die a little more each day. Pain and grief are so hard to bear to the point I think I cant. I keep pushing forward and cry and cleanse my soul. I do everything in my power to not lose my mind but sometimes its literally second by second.

Tomorrow is my birthday.

I found out today that my mother is moving to Texas to help my ex husband by babysitting Caleb and his new baby. I am just beginning to process that but I would like to point out lastly that this isn't genetic but it is highly more likely for adult children of alienation to repeat the cycle which it makes it all that more important to stop it now. I am an adult child of alienation and so is my ex husband and my mother was the alienator and my ex's new wife is semi alienated and verbally abused by her ex. We project into others and they are now unwillingly projecting this onto my son. My rights were removed without due process violating my civil rights however what good are civil rights if they aren't enforced.

Think you aren't affected by alienation? I'm sure in the room you sit reading this there is at least one person that is an alienator or a rejected parent, aunt, grandparent. Please help us fight and protect to allow our future children to have both parents in their lives.

Offer more classes, teach separated couples how to handle effective co-parenting, make it a criminal offense to withhold a child from a biological parent. Hold the court's accountable for upholding and enforcing their order. Write call email whatever your local officials to start to be part of the solution. Next time you see that alienated father or mother offer understanding. They may not deserve the treatment they are receiving. If nothing else keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

- Death of the Justice System Open Forum Fraud
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Friday, January 8, 2016
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