MASS "MURDER" BY THE FAMILY COURT SYSTEM: Listen LIVE with fellow Advocates Anthony Brasher, Vincent Schiele and Vernon Beck on Thursday, December 18 2014 

For Our Kids Show while we discuss the tragedies and failures of our Family Court System. 

The Epidemic of Parents and Families so Systematically Abused by our Family Courts that they are taking their own lives - and even the lives of others. 

Darrin White, a 34 year old railway engineer committed suicide in March of 2000 in Prince George, B.C., after a judge ordered him to pay his estranged wife twice his take-home pay in child support and alimony each month. His family blames the judicial system for his death. Darrin was a certified locomotive engineer who earned his living driving trains for  the British Columbia railway. In a country that still treats children as prizes to be "won" in divorce court rather than as human beings entitled to close contact with both of their parents, he and his children became another casualty. Suddenly alone, compelled to leave his home with less than 48 hours' notice, expected to come up with rent money as well as lawyers' retainers, and missing shifts at work due to court dates, Darrin found himself criticized for not paying his estranged wife an exorbitant amount of child and spousal support during this chaotic period.

In death he's become a heartbreaking symbol of family courts gone awry, of a divorce system run by people with closed minds, hard hearts and deaf ears.

Peter Ostrowski, spokesman for the advocacy coalition, publicized the suicide a few days after the discovery of Mr. White's body. "A grotesque policy failure of governments is causing parents to kill themselves," Mr. Ostrowski stated in a news report. Again, this was back in 2000... what has really changed since then?

Family members say Darrin White hanged himself because he couldn't stand the pressures placed on him by what they characterize as an unsympathetic court that systematically stripped him of his parental rights and saddled him with unbearable costs.

"The court system didn't listen to him. It failed him. He gave up, and no one wins. Not the kids, who now don't have a father, not the ex-wife, not the court," Darrin's brother-in-law Murray Empey said Wednesday. "The court system bullied him to his death."

An interim court order in January had awarded his ex-wife sole custody of the children. Mr. White had to move out of the family home. He  had restricted visitation rights, which would be hard enough in itself, but by all accounts he was being kept from his children completely.

On March 1, B.C. Supreme Court Master Doug Baker ruled that White, who was on temporary stress leave from his job as a BC Rail locomotive engineer, was capable of paying $2,071 in spousal and child support for his ex-wife and three children, even though White was on disability at the time and was only getting $950 per month.

In addition, Baker disregarded another $439 per month Darrin was paying to support a 14-year-old daughter from a previous union.

The amounts would have eaten up almost all of White's after-tax income even had he been working and not on disability.

"He was talking about how he missed his kids, and he could not understand why people were doing this to him," the mother of his first child said. "He said his kids were forgetting him already. White was so traumatized by the court system that he no longer felt he had any rights, even though he loved his children and wanted to be a part of their lives, his brother in law said. He also felt that Darrin was in a state of mind where he was beat up by the courts and he just gave up," "His family talked to Darrin every day, sometimes twice a day, from Brandon, Manitoba, and no one ever thought he would do this. What really forced him was the fact he was fighting for visitation rights, fighting for any kind of rights, and trying to be a good father, and not being allowed to be that."

Darrin's bitter court battles were marked by charges of spousal assault, restraining orders against both him and his ex-wife, and a restriction on his visitation rights.

In a court document in which White sought a variance on a restraining order, he wrote about the importance he placed on his role as a father.

"My children need their dad and I need them," he wrote.

In his reasons, Baker acknowledged White was under stress, in part because he was involved in several court actions involving his ex-wife.  The judge also said he didn't believe White was supporting his first child, Ashlee, and felt Darrin could go back to his job as a locomotive engineer within weeks, apparently judges are now doctors and psychiatrists as well.

Darrin's 11-year marriage dissolved in January. His ex-wife, Madeleine, who is also trained as a locomotive engineer, was awarded custody of three children aged 10, 9 and 5, and was given the family house as well. Darrin only had restricted visitation rights. He had been accused of spousal assault ***This was actually an incident where his ex wife showed up at the home and tried to grab the car keys while he was trying to leave because police had told him if she showed up at the house he had to leave or he'd be charged, because of the restraining order - he grabbed her wrist to stop her from grabbing keys out of his pocket*** He felt victimized by police, the Family Courts and the Criminal Justice system.

Interestingly, Mrs. White was never ordered to return to her job, even though all 3 children were school aged at the time of the divorce and they had the same qualifications.

Louise Malenfant of Parents Helping Parents in Winnipeg said after White's burial that many divorcing spouses often cannot afford a lawyer, but are not eligible for legal aid. Of Darin White he said "On paper, this man had money, but in reality, he didn't have a dime."

At Darrin's funeral yesterday, his relatives returned to one theme again and again. His death was so unnecessary, they said. So pointless. "It didn't have to happen," they said.

To echo  Father Leo Fernandes of St. Augustine's Roman Catholic Church, "So what are we, the Canadian people, going to do about it?" That is really an excellent question.

Darin's oldest daughter, spoke out after his death...she said...

"I am writing on behalf of Darrin Bruce White  . ... No one would listen to my father , no one would give him a chance to speak. ... My dad was an abused husband, he was abused by his wife, and the justice system.  ... He was a kind man who fought a good fight but no matter what he did or said, he could never win with this system. Things need to change for all fathers going through this same thing. We need to help, too many kids go without a father because of this , too many kids are hurt." 

Hypocrisy of His Ex Wife -

His wife,  refused to blame anyone.

"What he did, he did to himself," she said. "There is no one to blame, not the justice system, not the advocacy coalition, not me myself." She believes court rulings restricting access to her children and ordering support payments were "a minor incident" in her husband's life.

"If you look at the situation, the facts, you realize there's no one to blame," she said.

We disagree. The system clearly failed here, and there was nothing minor about someone feeling they had no other choice than to take their own life.

ONTARIO MAN LAYS ON TRACKS/COMMITS SUICIDE OVER SUPPORT ORDER, WIFE GETS HELP AFTER HIS DEATH

The Government of Ontario has taken new steps to enforcing child support payments, namely the most recent: driver’s licenses can be suspended for not paying child support, and cars can now be impounded – removing the ability for payers to get to work at all to earn the money to make payments.

In late August, a London, Ontario man committed suicide by laying down on nearby train tracks. His common-law wife is planning on launching a lawsuit against the Ontario Family Responsibility Office, whom she holds responsible for his death.

The man’s ex-wife and mother of his two now-adult children (ages 18 and 21) owns a home, a car, and has a job, and the man had been paying child support since 1996. A truck driver, the man had recently become unemployed and missed two support payments, which began a downward spiral of events that prevented him from ever catching up. Work soon became available, but the man’s commercial license was suspended by the Ontario Family Responsibility Office, who demanded a $1,500 payment to reinstate the license. Without a license, he could not earn the money to get his license back and no negotiating with the Family Responsibility Office got him anywhere – not even when it was done on his behalf by an MPP or an ombudsman.

Eventually, he represented himself when the Family Responsibility Office took him to court and demanded $10,000 or almost 200 days in jail – both options that would severely impede his ability to get his license back and continue making child support payments – all for $4,000 in child support payments. The husband was therefore stuck in a downward spiral of being unable to pay child support, unable to pay the $10,000, and unable to work without his commercial license. And naturally he would be unable to earn an income if was serving time in jail.

He became despondent, and in August of 2010 committed suicide by laying down beside railway tracks near his home and rolling into the path of an oncoming train.

His common-law wife now holds the FRO responsible for his death, and apparently plans to sue them in court. Incidentally, the trauma she experienced due to his death threw her into her own suicidal depression, which required her to undergo a six-week stay in hospital. Now his widow finally has a large law firm helping her to sue the govn't....as there's money involved, help arrives....Does no one see the irony here that he had to die to get help? Where were these lawyers when he was alive, despondent, desperate and had to represent himself...?

THE MURDER-SUICIDE OF IAN AND NIKKI ELIAS:

Just last month, Ian Elias killed his ex-wife Nikki in her Southwest Portland home, took their two daughters to his home in Northeast Portland and then fatally shot himself as a police tactical squad surrounded the house – a violent end to a bitter divorce and custody dispute. The murder-suicide capped protracted acrimony between Ian and his ex-wife, Nikki. The media reported it as a textbook case of domestic violence on the part of the husband turned deadly... A look behind the scenes revealed something very different.

Ian Elias Had a youtube channel showing a lot of very abusive videos, including serious domestic abuse by his ex in front of their young children. Very violent and derogatory, she was shown abusing drugs and alcohol, and damaging the home. She wouldn't leave him alone, no matter how he begged. Constantly telling him to get out, and threatening him if he did leave. If a man said and did the things she did, instead of Primary Custody, he would get jail time. The disparity in our system is that male or female, the abuser works the conflict agenda of the courts, so in the end, it's the abuser who always wins.

Ian had to pay over $60,000 just to see his kids when his ex ignored the court order for access. She wouldn't even allow court-ordered telephone access, and kept fighting to get his access supervised, though he had never abused the children. Threatened with jail for posting videos of abuse on social media when the courts refused to acknowledge them, He had previously been Jailed for making such posts, and was in terror of being jailed again, though he felt he had no choice but to keep trying to be heard... She would not stop fighting in the courts, keeping the conflict going and keeping him away from his children. She wouldn't stop until she got his parental rights completely terminated.. he described it as being hunted and attacked by a 'pit bull'.  He also claimed his children told him she was abusing them the same way she did him. In one video, she is unaware she's being recorded and is trashing him to his children right in front of him.... It is not the abuse between these two exes that is so shocking, it is the court ignoring evidence and perpetuating the abuse. This is common, regardless of whether the abuser is male or female, conflict feeds the system, and keeps the money flowing. Especially in this case, as she had all the money behind her. Ian was $64,000 in debt fighting for his children and facing bankruptcy, and could not get heard, no matter how hard he tried for over 2 years in court. Even CPS failed, refusing to view the videos of abuse or listen to the children. He truly felt he couldn't save them, and there is no doubt he felt completely victimized from everyone who should have been there to help. He truly felt this was never going to end. He also felt he'd lost his family as well, as there was intergenerational abuse and alienation and they had taken the side of his abuser, continuing the family patterns.

By all accounts Ian was terrified for his children's safety, alienated from them, abused and traumatized by the family courts, and threatened with jail if he spoke out, which he felt he had to for his children's sake. He also felt that just like no one listened to or believed him, the same would happen to his children.

In April 2014, he had lost all visitation rights, and was ordered to stop videotaping evidence of what was going on between his ex-wife, his children and himself. Although he clearly stated he was going to keep posting his evidence on social media, despite the threat of being put in jail, it was spun by the media as being a threat of bodily harm, though I have seen these videos, and that is most certainly not the case. He simply said he knew putting the truth out there was going to get him jailed, but begged for help for himself and his children. On May 07th, 2014 Ian was ordered against making social media posts about the abuse he was enduring in his home and his alienation from his children. On July 23, he was arrested for continuing to speak out in his frustration over not feeling heard by the Family Court System, and was prohibited from all contact with his children at all. Three days before he was to go back to court on the contempt charges, tragically, Ian snapped, and killed both his ex-wife and himself.

Again, we are not saying what he did was right, we are saying that what happened to him was wrong, and it caused him to snap. Without this type of ongoing systemic abuse, trauma and fear, if the courts looked at evidence and made fair rulings, would people break like this?  Who really creates these traumas?  Who benefits most from the conflict? Destroying families is big business in 'Family Court'.

 Nikki's lawyer, George McFadyen, was linked to two other Family court related deaths...one has to wonder when we start looking at what is really causing the trauma and crises that are leading people to break, and again, who really benefits...

THE MURDER-SUICIDE OF RALPH AND GILLIAN HADLEY:

On June 20th, 2000, in Durham Ontario, Ralph Hadley  shot his former wife and killed her, then turned the gun on himself. This incident was widely touted by the media, the government and domestic violence organizations as being just another text-book example of domestic abuse turned deadly. It turns out there was much, much more to this story that they just didn't want us to know.

Ralph and Gillian  grew up together, and after high school, Gillian married someone else and had 2 children, one of whom, her son was severely disabled and completely incapable of caring for himself in any way. She ended up divorcing her first husband and marrying Ralph, who took on the responsibility for her and these 2 children. At that point he was 32 years old and had never had any history of violence whatsoever.

Ralph and Gillian also had a child together. Ralph and his cousin had bought a home together, and Ralph put Gillian's name on it as well. They lived there with his cousin and her children from her previous marriage. Several months later, a nurse who was helping with the Hadley's with Gillian's disabled son found bruises on this child's bottom, and he was taken to the hospital. Although there was no evidence to prove this in any way, and the child was bedridden, prone to seizures, and the bruises could easily have been caused by these issues, Ralph was charged with Criminal Negligence Causing Bodily Harm, a very severe charge under the criminal code, far more serious than assault, and one that can come with significant jail time. This unjustified charge was the first step in the system breaking Ralph and pushing him over the edge. He was labeled a 'child abuser' with no proof whatsoever, and charged. The Criminal Justice System was the first system to attack this man and let him down.

It's significant that Gillian actually testified on Ralph's behalf in this matter and was even his surety for bail. As a result of this allegation, another system, CPS, now became involved with this family. Now we have 3 systems coming down on this person with no evidence, the police, the CJS and CPS...Talk about a collateral attack.

At this point, CPS removed the child from the home, though they left her older daughter there. Ralph had now been officially labeled a child abuser. As a result of this, after their own child was born, an order was made that Ralph could not be alone with his own son until these criminal matters were resolved. The marriage began to break down from all this stress, despite counselling and their attempts to make things work, but even the counsellors were unwilling to see Ralph as anything more than a perpetrator. The die had been cast, he had been labeled, even though he was the only one to continue with the counselling, he was always going to be to blame, even though on Dec 15th, 1999, the criminal charges against him were withdrawn. He was released on a Peace Bond, to keep the peace and be of good behaviour and still not to be alone with his stepson however, without the consent of CPS, who it seems still retain the power of judges even when courts are no longer involved.

Ralph became severely depressed and terrified of losing his family. While he continued with counselling, his wife quit after one session and began an affair with another man, though she kept encouraging him to get help for 'his' issues. Over the Christmas holidays of 1999, Gillian left the family and ran off to a hotel with her lover for several days. . In January 2000, Gillian's sister told Ralph about the affair and actually took him to where the two were. He found the two together in bed, and at this point, he snapped. Gillian claims he made her get dressed, slapped her and pushed her, and made her get into the car. If this is what happened, we are certainly not saying that was ok, just that it seems this man was driven to a serious breaking point by everyone he should have been able to trust and should have helped him. All of this stress and betrayal in a few short months would break anyone, though again, we are Not condoning the fact he may have put hands on her, no matter what she did. Gillian left Ralph and went back to her ex-husband's home. Ralph went home and called both sets of parents for help, who came over and told Ralph Gillian wanted out, and packed her things so she could take them. Instead, the police showed up and Ralph was taken in, then released with a bail order on condition he not have anymore communication with Gillian, or go to the home that he and his family had actually bought, though he has all the financial responsibility of supporting her and the children and continuing to pay for the home. This is pretty standard in domestic violence issues, and another great failing of our system to see the human beings trapped in it.

At this point, Ralph is overwhelmed by the system and what it's done to his life. He's fighting CPS just to see his own son, even though the charges against his stepson were withdrawn, He is now facing divorce, and so dealing with the Family Court System now, and he is going bankrupt paying for everything, yet the fact that it was his home to begin with has been just shoved aside, so he has two lawyers to pay for those two issues, and now he needs a third to deal with the CJS as he is back in court charged with assault. He is homeless and can't see his child, and his world has completely fallen apart, and he feels he has nowhere to turn. It should be noted, that despite the restraining order, Gillian met with him on at least 2 occasions, so they were Both in violation of the order, but in Canada, only he could be charged. And he was - this time with criminal harassment and bail violation, and he had to go to yet another bail hearing as well. He went into a very deep depression at this point.

The family court gave Ralph access, but Gillian refused to abide by the order, with no consequences, and Ralph wasn't even allowed to see his son on his first birthday. The system is very selective about who gets punished for violating orders. At this point he was dealing with 3 lawyers, multiple cases in 3 different courts, he wasn't allowed any contact with his only child and the courts did nothing to remedy that, and he was carrying the entire financial burden for all of this, as well as for a home he couldn't access, and still supporting Gillian and the children. There was nowhere and no one to turn to for help, and he'd been betrayed by his wife and every system we have in place, ones we are naively brought up to believe are there to help us.

We in no way say that what happened next was by any means ok, this is a tragedy in every possible way and there are many victims. We are only trying to make people aware that we are all only human, and we all have breaking points, and anyone can be pushed over the edge if pushed hard enough, and that just as there are many victims...there are far more to blame for what happened than just Ralph Hadley. Ralph bought a gun, and on June 21st, 2000, he went back to their home and shot Gillian and then himself. AGAIN, we are not saying what happened was justified, we are saying it could have been prevented at so many levels, but it was only made worse. Like so many tragedies in our system. Very tellingly, Ralph's suicide note had none of the telltale signs of a domestic abuse situation, no 'If I can't have her no one can', nothing along any of those lines. It was all about how he felt judged and victimized, how he now saw her as a monster, and how he couldn't bear his son to be raised by her, or to grow up in a situation like this..it was clearly the words of a completely broken man, one who had snapped, and saw no other way. We are NOT saying there was no other options, only that at this point he had been backed into such a corner, and his life so destroyed, that He didn't see any. The point is also that all these systems are supposed to be there to help us when we're in crisis, not to create and escalate the crisis until the victims involved break completely. This family was failed by every one of these systems in every possible way.

Trish Hennessey and Nash Campbell

Trish Hennessey and her son  Nash Campbell were found dead in the back seat of a burning Jeep Wrangler on a quiet dirt road in St. Felix, near Tignish, at 1 a.m. on June 21.Trish Hennessey’s final posting on her Facebook page reads “oh my god, my baby boy is the best… I love you Nasher, more than all the cookies in the whole word.” Autopsies have determined that both Hennessey and Nash died of smoke inhalation. But toxicology results also found both mother and son had ingested prescription drugs prior to their death. The autopsy and toxicology results, together with information gathered from the criminal investigation, have led police to determine Hennessey murdered her son and killed herself.

“I think it’s probably an expected result,”  RCMP Sergeant Andrew Blackadar said.

“That was really one of the theories we developed early on in the investigation. So now it’s come to fruition and we’ve been able to solidify our theory and are able to come to this determination today.”

As part of the criminal investigation into this case, RCMP interviewed upwards of 30 people.

 Sandra Jones of Bloomfield who went to school with Trish and had been close friends for over 17 yearswas one of the last people to see Trish  alive.

“She’s an amazing person, such a caring, loving person, she never judged anyone, she loved life,” “She loved her little boy so much, she loved him, she loved him so much. He was her life.” “We’re still in shock about the result … she lost her son,”  “She thought if she only

got 50/50 (custody) she didn’t know what she was going to do ', Sandra said, so we can only imagine what the shock of losing her child completely must have done to her. Trish had  lost custody of her son the day before. Their bodies were found just hours before the boy was to be turned over to his father.

t Dr. Charles Trainor said his office might call for a coroner's inquest.

"The purpose of an inquest is who, where, when and by what means did so-and-so die. And the most important thing is, how can we prevent deaths of this nature from occurring in the future? That's something that really needs to be worked on," he said. Dr. Trainor states he knows people have many questions about how this could have even happened, and what could have been done to prevent it.

Trainor was reacting to calls in the legislature earlier this week by Independent MLA Olive Crane to appoint a retired judge to review the case stating that

 <http://www.thepacket.ca/News/Local/2013-12-06/article-3532068/Crane-calls-for-independent-review-of-toddler-death-in-P.E.I.-murder-suicide-case/1#>

© Guardian photo by Brian McInnis

Olive Crane. File Photo

  Crane called on the legislature to investigate, stating that

“The bottom that I am trying to get to for so many people is, how do we find out what went wrong, and how do we make sure it never happens again?”

It seems this is a question we still have yet to answer.

DASH RICHARDSON: AN ALIENATED CHILD FAILED BY THE SYSTEM TAKES HIS LIFE

when a divorce becomes especially toxic children can become the target of an unrelenting crusade by one parent to destroy the child's relationship with the other. Experts call it parental alienation, a persistent campaign by one parent to poison a child's relationship with the other parent. They also call this child abuse.

Typical tactics include lying or making false allegations about the targeted parent, refusing to let the child see the other parent, even punishing the child for showing affection for the other parent.

For almost 12 years, Pamela Richardson rarely saw her son Dash because of the campaign her ex-husband waged against her.

According to Richardson, after her marriage dissolved her ex-husband, who had custody of the then-four-year-old, did everything he could to alienate Dash from his mother - fabricating illness, booking activities for Dash to prevent visits; he even arranged to have Richardson banned from Dash's school.

Despite a court order giving her regular visits with Dash, Richardson said her ex-husband did everything he could to keep them apart and to convince their son that she was a bad and uncaring mother.

"There was period of two years, where she added up the hours (with Dash) and it came to 24 - in two years.

Richardson said she wasn't the only one suffering as a result of the alienation - Dash was suffering too. Alienated from his mother, the once happy little boy turned into an isolated, depressed and angry teenager. Parental Alienation is a serious form of emotional abuse, and the consequences for children can be deadly.

On January 1, 2001, Dash, then 16, jumped off Vancouver's Granville Street bridge, in the middle of the night, to his death. While Richardson blames her ex-husband, she also blames a court system that she insists did little to intervene and help.

"This is extreme and this was something that was in the courts many, many times...they had an opportunity to do something and they didn't," said Richardson. Sadly this seems to be the pattern of our court system.

Christopher Mackney, 45, committed suicide Dec 29, 2013 in Washington DC.

Dina Mackney who Christopher says drove him to suicide,

now pursues him beyond the grave. She seeks to have his suicide note

removed from over three dozen websites around the world.

Christopher Mackney, a successful real estate agent, committed suicide last December after his life was destroyed by family court and he was blocked from seeing his children. His ex-wife, prominent jewelry designer Dina Mackney,aided by lawyer Rachelle E. Hill  now claims she owns the copyright and seeks to remove his suicide note from about 40 web-sites from around the world. Author Paul Elam wrote:

 "It really does cause me a lot of concern, like I've always had for the society that we live in, that we can have somebody who's just being totally destroyed, I mean out in the open everything taken...his livelihood taken, his property, his children, his self respect...everything, and on top of that coming to get his freedom. Because once they took his job, once they impoverished him he couldn't pay child support. And you can feel the flavour of him not wanting to be in jail after a productive life of a professional life. ...That's why I'm willing to fight this...that somebody has to. I mean the guy was right...when good men do nothing evil flourishes.   ... [Chris Mackney]  had nobody to turn to, nobody for anything in a culture that just stands by and watches this like it is supposed to be happening..." . 

From Christopher's Blog- His last post - his suicide letter.

I never wanted to speak out about any of this. All I wanted was a fair and reasonable child support,

fair and reasonable visitation with my children and be free to move on with my life. The only reason

I chose to write a blog and speak out about the abuse was because I thought it would give me some

kind of leverage, as I had none.

I made it clear to my ex- wife’s attorney that the family court was not allowing me to change the

orders, I had no information about my children and my child support was far beyond my ability to

I was hoping for some act of good faith to let me know that they wanted to reduce the conflict. It

never came, not in 5 years. I felt that my only recourse was to speak out about the abuse and

injustice in order to get the legal and psychological help I needed to manage the conflict, so that we

could both parent our children. I reached out to my ex- wife’s attorney again to ask for ANY other

They offered none, so I started the blog. In hindsight, I recognize that my reactions to being bullied, abused and denied access to my

children gave my ex- wife’s attorney the ammunition they were looking for to bring me into Court,

but nothing I said or done would have made a difference. I was powerless. I thought that at some

point a third party would be involved that would recognize that my reactions were from the

emotional abuse; being denied access to my children and bullied in Court. The Court refused at least

six requests for third party intervention. All of the research said that a third party was the

recommended course of action in these situations.

I was not the person being portrayed in family court. I had no control over anything.  No one would tell me I was wrong, but no one would speak out about the abuse on my behalf, not the Doctors or attorneys. The way I looked at it was that if I remained silent, the abuse would continue. It did.

When I finally decided to speak out, they didn’t care. They were fully invested in having me out of my children’s lives, permanently. Bullying and parental alienation are all forms of emotional abuse. Psychopathy is an emotional dysfunction.

People with psychopathy are identified by how they handle conflict. It is the disturbing lack of

empathy, guilt shame, remorse that give them away. They are completely unaffected by the distress

of others. As long as they get what they want, you may never see that side of them. People ‘targeted’ by psychopaths call it ‘murder by suicide’.

 I was a good father to my children when I was in their lives. No one can dispute or deny that. Dr. Samenow even admitted under oath that I had a ‘palpable’ relationship with my kids. I know I was an extremely loving and positive influence on their lives and it kills me that I even feel like I have to defend my parenting. My children were the only source of joy and happiness inmy marriage.

For the Judge Bellows to deny parents and children a ‘palpable relationship’ and each other’s love

is corruption. My identity was taken from me, as result of this process of Family Court. When it began, I was a commercial real estate broker with CB Richard Ellis. I lived by the Golden rule and made a living by bringing parties together and finding the common ground. My reputation as a broker was built on my honesty and integrity. When it ended, I was broke, homeless,

unemployed and had no visitation with my own children. I had no confidence and was paralyzed with fear that I would be going to jail whenever my ex-wife wanted. Nothing I could say or do would stop it. This is what being to death or ‘targeted’ by a psychopath looks like. This is the outcome.

I didn’t somehow change into a ‘high conflict’ person or lose my ability to steer clear of the law. I’ve had never been arrested, depressed, homeless or suicidal before this family court process. The stress and pressure applied to me was deliberate and nothing I could do or say would get me any relief. Nothing I or my attorneys said to my ex- wife’s attorney or to the Court made any difference. Truth, facts, evidence or even the best interest of my children had no affect on the outcome. The family court system is broken, but from my experience, it is not the laws, it’s the lawyers. They feed off of the conflict. They are not hired to reduce conflict or protect the best interest of children, which is why third parties need to be involved. It should be mandatory for

children to have a guardian ad litem, with extensive training in abuse and aggression.

It is absolutely shameful that the Fairfax County Court did nothing to intervene or understand the ongoing conflict. Judge Randy Bellows also used the children as punishment, by withholding access for failing to fax a receipt. The entire conflict centered around the denial of access to the children, it was inconceivable to me that he would use children like this. This is exactly what my ex-wife was doing and now Judge Bellows was doing it for her. To all my family, friends and the people that

supported me through this process, I am so sorry. I know my reactions and behavior throughout this

process did not always make sense. None of this made sense to me either. I had no help and the only

suggestion I got from my attorneys was to remain silent. At first, I did what I was told, remained

silent and listened to my attorneys. Then after I had given my ex-wife full custody to try and

appease her, I learned about Psychopathy and emailed Dr. Samenow about my concerns and asked

him for help. Of course, I was ignored.

As the conflict continued, I was forced to defend myself. When that didn’t work, I thought I could get the help I needed by speaking out. There is no right or wrong way to defend yourself from abuse. Naively, I thought that abuse was abuse and it would be recognized and something would be done. I thought speaking out would end the abuse or at least get them to back off.

It didn’t. When no one did anything they were emboldened.

I took my own life because I had come to the conclusion that there was nothing I could do or say to end the abuse. Every time I got up off my knees, I would get knocked back down. They were not going to let me be the father I wanted to be to my children. People may think I am a coward for giving up on my children, but I didn’t see how I was going to heal from this. I have no money for an attorney, therapy or medication. I have lost 4 jobs because of this process. I was going to be at their

mercy for the rest of my life and they had shown me none. Being alienated, legally abused, emotionally abused, isolated and financially ruined are all a recipe for suicide. I wish I were stronger to keep going, but the emotional pain and fear of going to court and jail became overwhelming. I became paralyzed with fear.

I couldn’t flee and I could not fight. I was never going to be allowed to heal or recover. I wish I were better at articulating the psychological and emotional trauma I experienced. I could fill a book with all the lies and mysterious rulings of the Court. Never have I experienced this kind of pain. I asked for help, but good men did nothing and evil prevailed. All I wanted was a Guardian Ad Litem for my children. Any third party would have been easily been able to confirm or refute all of my allegations, which is why none was ever appointed to protect the children or reduce the conflict.

Abuse is about power and control. Stand up for the abused and speak out. If someone speaks out

about abuse, believe them. Please teach my children empathy and about emotional invalidation and

‘gas - lighting’ or they may end up like me. God have mercy on my soul.

By Christopher Mackney – Washington DC

Deborah Maddison, Tracy Baxter and the NAASCA Team